So you’ve bought the ring and popped the question…but now what? Brides have an almost endless list of wedding responsibilities, but the groom sometimes feels he’s got little to do for a wedding besides show up at the altar.
Guys, don’t buy it. You have nuptial responsibilities, too, and you can prove your future-spousal chops by knowing what they are and taking care of them without prompting. You’ll be surprised how far the brownie points can take you if you do!
Here’s your top-five wedding to-do list:
1. Support your fiancé.
Practice this phrase: “Whatever you need, dear.” Your bride-to-be is dealing with a thousand details, and the closer it gets to your wedding date, the more stressed she’ll become. Make her tea. Rub her feet. Address envelopes. Reassure her that one day, she and her mother will be on speaking terms again. And most of all, don’t add to her stress by quibbling over where to place the dessert table or whether the DJ should play dubstep. Right now, the best gift you can give your bride is your attention and support.
2. Think about your groomsmen’s gift.
The more tasks you can take off your bride’s plate, the better, and the groomsmen’s gift lies squarely in your corner. If your gift has something to do with their wedding attire, run it by your bride; if not, don’t even bother her with the details. Remember to shop for your gift early and be sure to have it by your wedding day.
Your gift is entirely up to you, but since you probably don’t have much practice buying things for your best friends, something related to the wedding may be the easy choice. Cufflinks are a classic!
You could also choose basics like watches, ties, or sunglasses (Blues Brothers photo op, anyone?).
Whatever your choice, make sure it’s something you feel the men in question will really use. You don’t want your gift relegated to the back of the sock drawer.
3. Corral your groomsmen.
Depending on the apparel choices you and your bride have made, your groomsmen may need some matching outfits. If you’re going high formal, they’ll probably need to rent a tuxedo. Pick an appropriate store in your groomsmen’s area and make sure they’re registered for the rental. (Better yet, order with an online vendor like The Black Tux; they deliver straight to your groomsmen’s doors, anywhere in the country, with no shipping charges. You can even see which friends are holding up the line and easily poke them to hurry up!)
Whatever their attire and wherever you purchase it, your attendants may need fittings. If so, make sure they’ve actually gone and done the deed. Again, don’t worry your bride by waiting until the last minute! Watching her face as she sees the row of handsome gentlemen waiting for her at the other end of the aisle will make all the cat-herding in the world worth it.
4. Write your rehearsal dinner toast.
Did you know that your best man’s not the only one on the hook for a few choice words? Traditionally, the groom makes a toast the night before his wedding during the rehearsal dinner. He uses this opportunity to thank family and friends, recognize his parents for raising him right, and — of course — sing the praises of his bride in front of the entire assembled crowd.
Even if you’re an on-the-fly kind of guy, your wedding weekend is not the time to risk being at a loss for words. Your toast will set the tone for your ceremony. It will please your parents to no end to be recognized for all their many years of love and hard work (especially your mom — trust us on this.) It’s one of the only opportunities in your life you’ll have to recognize your best friends for their support over the years, in public, without feeling too embarrassed about it. And, most importantly, it’s your chance to make sure your bride feels deeply cherished.
Make the most of that chance. Start thinking about exactly what you want to say early, so that once you’re in the spotlight, you won’t forget to mention that time your best friend pulled your car out of the ditch at midnight, or the adorable way your intended wrinkles her nose when she’s mad at you. Put the kind of care into your toast that you’re going to give to her. She knows she’s got the right guy — but she’ll never forget it if you make sure that everyone else knows, too.
(Remember: if you’re writing your own vows, all the same advice applies — but it’s even more important!)
5. Purchase your wedding bands (and don’t forget the insurance).
Picture this. The ceremony is going great. Your bride looks perfect and the vows went off without a hitch. Now it’s time for the rings—the most important piece of jewelry you will ever buy…and your pockets are empty. You forgot!
Don’t let this happen. The last thing you need is a disaster that could have been avoided with one trip to the store. So run by the jeweler to pick up the wedding bands. While you’re at it, you can get them insured with Lavalier. It only takes a minute to get a quote and you’ll take those rings on a lifetime’s worth of adventures.
You want to give your bride the day of her dreams — a wedding she will remember forever. (No pressure, right?) With these five tips, you can take care of all your responsibilities, help her with some of hers, and set both of you up to truly enjoy your big day!